In most of the US the summer means a vacation from school. Maybe you’ve heard students chanting, ” no more homework, no more books, no more teacher’s dirty looks!”
So, in the spirit of summer, let’s have a some fun with a silly poem that’s been around for years, although it’s author is unknown. It shows how difficult the English language can be to master.
How’s Your English?
We’ll begin with box; the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox should be oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of mouse should never be meece.
You may find a live mouse or a whole nest of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan* be called pen?
If I speak of a foot and you show me two feet,
And I give you a boot*, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth* be called beeth?
If the singular’s this, and the plural is these,
Should the plural of kiss* ever be written keese?
And one would be that, and two would be those;
Yet hat* in the plural would never be hose;
and the plural of cat is cats, and not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then masculine pronouns are he, his, and him;
But imagine the feminine*, she, shis and shim?
So English, I think we all must agree,
Is the funniest language we ever did see!
*correct English words:
pan-pans, boot-boots, booth-booths, kiss-kisses, hat-hats, feminine pronouns-she, her, hers